story

My husband and I have four children; three boys and a girl. It is our youngest son, Tanner, who has been diagnosed with
Autism. At the time of this trip we had just recently received the diagnosis. Tanner had just turned seven, and had been
misdiagnosed several times over the years before we finally found out what the true problem was.
Up until about 18 months of age Tanner seemed to develop normally. He was a wonderfully happy child and one of my
easiest to care for. The only difference between him and his two older brothers, was that he hated loud noises, and would
cry and even scream if I ran the vacuum while he was in the room.
By three years of age it was abundantly clear something was wrong. He could only say 30 words, and could not string
together more than two words at a time. Looking back now at the journal I kept for him, it appears that he regressed,
while at the time I thought he had only failed to progress. A friend of ours had her son in speech classes provided by our
school district. I arranged to have him tested, and he began receiving speech help in a small group setting for 90 minutes
twice a week.

It was one of his speech assistants that said she thought there was more going on with Tanner than just speech delay. I
was scared, the word Autism had recently been coming up in conversations with my Mom.   I made an appointment with
the school district psychologist. Tanner was tested by the psychologist, a pre-school teacher and a nurse. I was asked
several questions and filled out information sheets. In the end I was told that while some things I had told them "raised
red flags," Tanner was much to affectionate to be autistic. He was simply speech delayed. I breathed a sigh of relief and
headed home to share the happy news with my husband and call my mom.

Let me just include here that the people who tested Tanner were all good people.   I do not believe that they purposely
misled us. I do believe that there is a severe lack of education about Autism among our doctors and other professionals in
the community, who are not autism specialists, who are treating our children.

By the time Tanner was five and graduating from pre-school his speech had improved, though it was still difficult to
understand him much of the time. He would become frustrated after trying several times to make us understand him.
Often he would begin making motions with his hands and body, acting out what he wanted to tell us. Sometimes it was
cute, especially when he wanted to go swimming. He would lie on the floor on his tummy and mime swimming. Other
times it just seemed tragic. We were all frustrated by his lack of ability to make himself understood.
By now we knew this was much more than a speech delay. Unlike the other children in his pre-school, Tanner had not
mastered the alphabet or counting to ten. He did not play with other children, but chose an activity he could do by
himself. He wanted friends, but couldn't seem to grasp the social niceties required even by five year olds. He couldn't
even remember the other children's names. He was known among his peers as, "the boy who doesn't talk very good." It
broke my heart, and we began once again to search for answers.

Looking back it is so clear what we should have done. We should have taken Tanner to professionals in the Autism
community when he was three. But I have come to learn that no matter how much I want to turn back the hands of time,
all I can really do is learn from the journey, and find the good that has come in time's of hardship.
We had begun taking Tanner to a tutor, hoping to get him caught up before the end of Kindergarten. She was a
wonderful woman, but couldn't seem to make any headway with our son.

Many things happened over the next year. My nephew, who is near Tanner's age, was diagnosed as dyslexic. My
sister-in-law called with the news and suggested an excellent book. Tanner fit so many of the symptoms in the book. I
was once again filled with hope! It all made sense. His inability to learn the alphabet and numbers, and even his speech
delay could all be blamed on Dyslexia. My father is Dyslexic. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought about it before.
Another long journey ensued. Our HMO sent us to a neurologist who turned out to be a specialist in epilepsy. He didn't
know what to do for us. I contacted the International Dyslexia Association and had a psychologist recommended. We
took Tanner and after just one meeting with me, with Tanner in the room, the doctor told me he was sure Tanner had
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).   I was sceptical about that,and wanted him tested for Dyslexia. After
several sessions he came back with a diagnosis of ADHD and Dyslexia.   And recommended that we have our pediatrician
put Tanner on medication. We tried three different medications, none of them worked. Finally our pediatrician said there
was no way Tanner was ADHD.

In defense of the psychologist, lots of Autistic children are misdiagnosed as ADHD.
Autism, which had begun sneaking back into our conversations, reared it's head once again.   Somebody suggested
DR. DAVID MONKARSH, a leader in the field of pediatric autism. I called his office but he was unable to see us.
However, this incredibly busy man took the time to call me back. He talked to me at great length, and then said that since
he couldn't see me, that if I would e-mail him a list of psychologists approved by our HMO, he would see if he could
recommend any of them.   He called me back promptly, and suggested Dr. Joseph Cervantes, a psychologist he had
worked with before.
Dr. Cervantes is a wonderful doctor, and I would recommend him to anyone. He spent time with Tanner and I together,
and Tanner alone. In the end he gave the diagnosis I had both expected and dreaded. Autism. Even though I had truly
expected it, it was still like someone had hit me hard in the stomach. I cannot explain the feeling. Like you are drowning
or suffocating. I sat in silence as Dr. Cervantes continued speaking. I don't remember exactly what he said, but
something opened the flood gates and the tears came. My sweet boy, autistic. How could it be?
Tanner noticed me crying and came over to me, wanting to know what was wrong. I told him I was a little sad. He gave
me a hug and went back to playing.
Dr. Cervantes suggested I take Tanner to For OC Kids and have a neurologist specializing in Autism look at him.   They
couldn't take him at For OC kids, but we lucked out, and one of their neurologists, Dr. Phillips, also worked at Children's
Hospital of Orange County (CHOC). We were able to get in to see him and he confirmed Dr. Cervantes' diagnosis of
moderate to high functioning autism.

Because of Tanner's failure to progress, the school district liaison to our IEP suggested he be placed in a special day class
(SDC). I told them I would think about it and discuss it with my husband. I refused to sign the IEP. They also suggested
he should attend a SDC summer school class to see if they couldn't help him get caught up. We agreed, but no progress
was made.

I had requested an IEP begore the beginning of the next school year, and been told it would happen. However, when I
called a few weeks before school to schedule it, I was told by the School District liaison that because we had agreed to put
him in the SDC summer school class, we had agreed to put him in SDC for the school year. There would be no IEP
before school began, and if Tanner started school it would be in a SDC.

We hired an advocate and held Tanner out of school until we could resolve the issue. The advocate interviewed the
teacher and advised us to place Tanner in the SDC, which we did. But during the following school year he made little
progress either in scholastics or speech. Toward the end of the year we began making appointments with professionals in
the autism community. I had been attending SEEPAC (Supporting, Educating and Empowering Parents of Autistic
Children), a free program for parents of newly diagnosed autistic children. Through this program I met three amazing
women. HEDY HANSEN, NANCY McGOVERN AND TERRI BOOKS.   I believe it was Terri who recommended Dr.
CHRISTINE MAJORS, a neuropsychologist.

We took Tanner to her and she did extensive testing on our son. Dr. Majors was caring and efficient, she truly cared for
Tanner and it was obvious. She conducted several tests, including a nonverbal IQ test, which proved that Tanner's IQ is
upwards of 114, (average is 85 to 115) and not the 82 previously thought. Joy, her office manager - who happens to be
studying to become a neuropsychologist herself, is also wonderful.
                                             more updates to come
When I snapped this picture I thought it was so much more than beautiful, with the dark foreboding storm clouds that had
gathered, moving apart to allow the sun to shine through. I had no idea at that time how much this photo would come to
symbolize my journey from despair to hope.
I took this incredible photograph on a day trip we took as a family to San Diego. Tanner had been diagnosed just days
before. Those were definitely days of grief. The dark clouds really had gathered, and I mourned the death of the dreams
I had borne for my child. It took a while for the clouds to part so I could see the rays of sun light that had been there all
along. The clouds had obscured the sun, but not destroyed it. The sunlight shone through. It came with words of
wisdom from my Mom and Dad and other family members. With support from my husband and children as I ran Tanner
from school to Occupational Therapy and other places, making dinner often late and thrown together. But most of all, it
came as I took my grief and longing to my Father in Heaven. For a long long time I could not think too deeply about it
without weeping, or at least getting choked up. It didn't happen over night, but now, all of that sadness has been
converted into action. And hope.
This support group is a manifestation of that hope. I hope that I can help others while at the same time helping Tanner. I
hope that Tanner can find happiness and fulfillment. And I have hope in a loving Heavenly Father who is always there
for us.